APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Date: Time of departure:

Time of return:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below. Nor shall I speak to another female other than those listed without gaining verbal permission one hour beforehand. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allocated volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi or ordering a pizza. I understand that even if permission is granted, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason what so ever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units)

Locations likely to be visited

Females likely to be encountered

Strength of beer permitted

I am the low life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to sleep overnight on a park bench next to a tramp should I not return home by the time approved below. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with a person who only exists in my inebriated mind, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. I understand that the wardrobe, cupboard, washing basket, fridge and dishwasher are out of bounds with regards to urinating.

I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

Request is APPROVED / TURNED DOWN
This decision is not open to negotiation other than on my terms.
?……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date: Time of departure:

Time of return:

Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: