THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

NICKNAMES
If Laura; Suzanne; Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will refer to each other as Laura;
Suzanne; Debra and Rose.
If Mike; Charlie; Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy; Godzilla; Peanut Head and Scrappy.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike; Charlie; Bob and John will each throw in £20 – even though it’s only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will admit they want change.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he wants.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item she doesn’t want.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom; a toothbrush; comb; shaving cream; razor; a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of another argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change, but she does.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances; best friends; favourite foods; secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.